Monday, April 4, 2011

Ok, time for more bitching. I've been getting more stressed out lately. As of this moment, the stress is because of my poor performance on my translation test in Japanese and the possible further lowering of my overall grade. We have a large amount of work to complete constantly. There are no usual breaks from this. Not to mention the amount of things we have to memorize in addition to the homework. This class takes up majority of my time and after 2 years, it has become a nuisance. Right now I'm trying to complete an annotated bibliography that is due in an hour. I somewhat started working on it earlier, but leaving it to the last minute is just a testament to how much senoritis has taken over. I ought to be doing this earlier but I am increasingly not caring of the things I have to do. I'm really beginning to not care about anything. I just want to live and not be forced to do anything because I have to survive, or need the money, or is required to graduate. I find no joy in most things anymore and it just keeps ending up like this.

What I think I really need is a good friend, but those are so hard to find nowadays. Not just a good friend either, but someone who actually relates to me completely. I have a good friend, but we don't have that much in common. I have another friend who is somewhat of person who hates on everyone. I don't need that type now.

 I really want to find the joy in life again, but it really is hard with the large amount of responsibility I have. The funny thing is it isn't that much when you consider how much responsibility others have in comparison. It makes me look like a spoiled college student who doesn't know better. I really need to toughen up and just do it. Who cares if it stresses me out. The thing is that whenever I'm pushing myself mentally, my perspective gets dizzy. I get lightheaded and can't think clearly. I wonder if last night's drinking had anything to do with it, or the pot. I rather not stop smoking since its the only thing that brings me happiness now, but I know that mentality is bad since it breeds addiction.


Crap, going on a tangent again. I need a good friend who lives near me. I want to experience another kind of life. The ones I have now bore me or just don't interest me. Now the question is how to make a good friend and how to keep them interested enough so I can learn from them.


I'm a fucking whiner

20 comments:

  1. I find that doing a little community service makes me happier. it helps me sleep knowing i made a little bit of a difference.

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  2. I feel that you and I are alike; I think and seem to write in a similar manner to you. If you aren't happy with your life, do something big to change it. Drop out of college, move house, hang out with different people! If we don't have happiness, what do we have?

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  3. Generally when you decide that someone is important enough to be in your life, you tend to adjust your attitude and habits towards them. Maybe think about your ultimate goals? +Follow

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  4. Hope You'll turn out alright man!

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  5. Stop whining about it! You won't find friends and get better grades with bitching around. Do something. Whatever you like. It's definatly better than whining and bitching. Do it NOW!

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  6. i understand where you are ocming from man. wish you best of luck

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  7. You're not a whiner. You're going through a tough time! Most people can relate at some point or another.

    Work is getting you depressed, which is a problem. If your time is already well organised, then it just is needing a friend who you can relate to, which you will find :)

    Following :)

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  8. Don't stress man, I hope this is temporary stage in your life, so stay calm and enjoy the little things that make you happy! Following ^^

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  9. Don't give up, anyone can become a friend, even enemies

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  10. Hey man, everybody needs to vent every now and then. Just have some morning coffee!

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  11. responsibility fucking sucks.

    wish i was a kid again, chilling on the lounge room floor watching my jurassic park tape every fucking day.

    best shit. your parents love you, all the food you want, laze about all day without judgement. best shit ever.

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  12. I went through this same thought process recently, but I already realized I had 2 TRUE friends I can always rely on and trust that they'll be there for me. And from there we have our own little 'off' friends we know from different places.

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  13. I hope you'll be fine :) +followed

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  14. Just take a moment to relax and breathe.

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  15. Cheer up man. You only live once, just do something you've always wanted to do. I'm going to road trip America next year! Think I have enough money? hell no, but I'm doing it anyway!

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  16. Troubles are always relative. Just because there are people with bigger problems doesn't mean that yours aren't legitimate.

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